Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Why Me Part II

That is the question I most feared.

Why you Jack? Why were you born with Cystic Fibrosis, a terminal disease that causes your body to die slowly? The mucus that should be thin and watery is not. It's thick and provides the perfect breading ground for bacteria to grow in your lungs. Initially we will fight your infections but eventually, your lungs will have so much scare tissue they will not function.

And in addition you pancreas is a mess. You get recurrent bouts of pancreatitis. Its "the drinking man's disease", the next doctor that jokes lay off the beer, I am going to slug.

We live in a world where if a child is not selected to play Varsity, the parents ask "why us". If your nail polish color is not just right, if you can not get a cab the second you want, if you can not get a reservation at a restaurant you dying to go to, if someone sent you an email you do not want to receive, Why me?

My beautiful boy has spent months in hospitals, gone months without eating, never asked why me?

I love this child with all my heart, I am a better person for having him as my son. I do not have any answer.

Why you jack, my beautiful boy I will promise to love you with all that I am, I will fight this disease with you. I will question doctors, yell at interns and fight the school board on your behalf. There is no answer to your question, why me? but we will fight this Jack, we will fight until no beautiful little boy looks at their mother with tears in their eyes and ask, why me?

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