Over the past fifteen years, I have found myself asking "Where is God?". This Easter, I got my answer. He is here and is listening.
Raised in a pretty traditional Catholic household, we rarely missed church, always visited the Rectory, carefully chose what to give up for lent and never ate meat on Fridays during Lent. My faith, some would say, has wavered, okay gone completely off the rails. Since Jack and Kate were diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis, after spending months at a Baby's hospitals, I found myself asking "Where is God?"
This Easter weekend I was flipping channels and found myself stuck on the History Channel watching the Bible mini-series. I could not stop watching. Easter Sunday came, I went to church.
I rarely go to church anymore, but there I was on Easter Sunday, in church. No I was not wearing a pretty new dress or lovely hat, I was not with my family. I sat surrounded by families, in their Easter best. I felt at home, I always do in Church.
I ended up in the middle of the pew and thought to myself, if I were on the end I would feel the holy water when the Priest walked down the middle spreading it. Literally one second later I felt a huge splash of holy water, right on my forehead. It was as if someone was listening to me.
Finally, it was time for me to pray. This past year for Jack has been terrible. It started with being hospitalized for his pancreas, but soon it was his lungs. Everyone with someone with CF in their family will tell you, it's all about your lung function. For no reason, this past year Jack's lung function has been on downward spiral. To add insult to injury he started to culture for an infection that he would never get rid of. The last time Jack went to his pulmonary doctor, his numbers started with a 6, they were in the 60s! Ninety- eight is normal. I am not going to lie, this terrified me.
So there I sat in church, praying for Jack. Believing in God, believing in the resurrection and what Easter celebrates and praying for my son.
Today Jack had an appointment with his Lung Doctor. I had forgotten all about this appointment. His Dad took him, and when he walked back in, I braced myself for more bad news. After all, what had changed?
I asked how his appointment went, Jack smiled and his Dad smiled. His Dad looked at me and said, ask Jack what his numbers are. I did .. 95%! The doctor was shocked, Jack was shocked, they were high fiving.. this was unheard of. This was a miracle. My Easter miracle. Maybe God has been here all along but I just have not been paying attention.
I am so thankful for my Easter miracle. I am so thankful for my three beautiful children and I am thankful for those numbers because that is a miracle.