Is this the light at the end of the tunnel?

A photo shoot of Jack.  This morning I decided that I would love Cathrine White to photograph Jack.  For the first time in a long time he has no IV, no Picc line and no tube running down his nose.  He does have his signature head of hair and gorgeous smile.  For now.

Jack headed off to school first thing in the morning and I did not hear from him till 7 pm.  What I know about Jack, through all of this, weeks in the hospital, painful pancreatic attacks, IVs. Picc Lines and most recently his near fatal blood infection, when Jack feels well .. he lives life well.

I remember being at a memorial for a friend who went to work at his new job at canter fitzgerald and never came home.  His wife and my friend got up and gave a very moving speech.  She said "Ward lived life well".  Everyone who new him, and he had no shortage of friends would agree with that.

I see that in my son jack and its a lesson to me.  Live life well.  Live it today.  Without any warning you might find yourself at a babies hospital at your child's bedside, waiting. So you see while so many have told me that Jack is fortunate to have me, the truth is I am fortunate to be his mother.  He his taught me more about living life. 

For anyone who says, God only gives you what you can bear, I do not agree, who can bear this?  I know I can not.  I do not handle it well, I fall apart, I cry and live in fear of what may happen.  And for those who say that he will be in a better place.  Well that is not true, what better place is there than here with me and his sisters.  

So for today, I am going take a page from Jack and live life well.