First off, in the middle of the day Jack decided he was staying with me for the weekend rather than go with his dad. then he started to put on his snow pants. I looked in horror and said "Jack, what are you doing??" Thats when he told me about his sledding plan. To which I said.. "Jack what you are thinking.. you might get hurt". Jack just had this look on his face (when your kid looks at you like you just said the stupidest thing they had ever heard). He followed the look with "and.. your point?"
What was my point? What more could possibly happen to him. After all he had been through. It was my fear, my wanting him to stay.. stay with me.. home where he was safe. But is he? He got pancreatitis home with me. His got a near fatal line infection home with me. Off he went.. when he came home I greeted him at the door as if he had been gone for a decade.. and settled him in.
Later that night, after reading an email that made me cry, I decided to have a heart to heart with Jack. Where exactly I was going with this.. the emotionally crippled giving life advice? Off I went determined to make sure he was alright with all we had been through.
Jack was the one who saved me last night. Jack said "ya know mom, its been three years since my last pancreatitis attack and I am out of the hospital, no more picc line and this tube in my nose is ok. I am ok." He went to tell me he felt lucky. And further discussed his plans for more sledding tomorrow.
Why is it so hard for me to move on?
No comments:
Post a Comment